Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
