I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
