Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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