you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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