Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
