Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
accomplished twins. life is a go
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
