I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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