dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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