When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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