she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
