he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
