Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
