I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
