my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
