There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
