i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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