I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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