are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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