my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I got inside last night via doggy door
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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