yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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