My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
