oh god the rape fog is back!
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
