My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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