I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
