Whats the glycemic index on semen?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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