Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
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I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
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Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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