I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize