I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Come share oat with me in your robe
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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