Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
