I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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