what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
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he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
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Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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