Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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