Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
