You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I didn't shave. On purpose
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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