There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
