I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
