Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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