in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
