do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
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I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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