At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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