I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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