She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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