He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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