You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize