Duck Duck Cougar?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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