I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
