just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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