Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
