Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
