if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Im part way to drunk.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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