I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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