In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
