new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
