what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
