we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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