i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
