is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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