just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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