Dual....:-)
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
