After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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