Can i not drive my cunt home
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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