I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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