i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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